Between Classes

This week our little family life required more attention due to medical needs.  Everyone will survive, but I’ve been needed more as a caregiver than usual.  Now, to be completely honest, I fulfill the cliché that teachers haven’t worked in the “real world.”  On my way to the classroom, I did child care, retail, and temp office work, but this teaching gig has been my only profession.  So when I contemplate how using leave as a teacher compares to using leave as a business professional, I’m using borrowed experience to draw my conclusions.

I conclude that it is really difficult to miss time as a teacher.  Clients might need to be put off in the business world, but aren’t clients more understanding than my often immature and egocentric students who sometimes fail to realize I have a life beyond them?  Like death and taxes, classes cannot be ignored.  Unlike meetings, they cannot be cancelled.  Even when I use leave, I log hours ahead of time (during my evenings, usually) preparing for the work to be done while I’m away.  Work to be assessed piles up awaiting my return, compounding the strain of needing leave in the first place.  I remember another teacher, John, who taught ninth grade while parenting two toddlers.  His wife had a high paying job that required lots of travel, and his little ones seemed to get ear infection after ear infection.  I remember him on the phone in our faculty lunchroom, calling substitute after substitute, trying to earn the right to use his own leave the next day.  Eventually, he quit.  Does that happen in the “real world?”  Do professionals need to find and prepare their surrogates before gaining permission to be absent?  Oy, it wears one down…

This medical need came during the week that I collect research essays.  I don’t literally highlight the week on the calendar in red, but I do cook, clean, and plan recreation and other class preps around this week.  To have life hit us in the face during research essay collection week rocks my teaching world quite a bit.  I’ve taken leave, but I still have to manage grading a demanding assignment during this trying personal time.  I claim on this blog to discuss balancing life and quality teaching, so I’m going to be candid here.  In order to meet my family obligations during research essay collection, some of my ideals are going to have to flex.  Here’s where I plan to begin:

• I may not get these essays back as quickly as I’d like.  Yes, I know, the pedagogical research says students respond best to quick feedback, but I can’t read them while I’m anxious about a loved one.  That isn’t fair to students either.
• I might not catch all the logical problems with students’ arguments.  Listen, my attention is a little shaky right now.  The trouble is, I cannot fob this job off on any of my friends or colleagues; I have to be the one who grades these essays.  It’s going to have to be okay that I may not bring the same sharp eye that the rested version of me would bring.
• My comments might be less singular.   At times like this, I go into default mode.  I can tell you that I’m going to write one of three or four variations of comments on most students’ papers.  I’m not saying those comments won’t be valid, but individual customization is hard to come by when time, energy, and concentration are at a minimum.
• I need to use a note taking unit in my classes.  By freeing up some time while I’m at school to grade, I’m better able to meet the increased family obligations that this time requires.
• My kid will spend a little more time at day care.  He’s getting dropped off a little earlier and picked up a little later during this time, maybe a total of a full hour extra per day.  We designed our life based on two healthy parents, so without that teamwork, I’m pushing the edges back on some things.  I remind myself that this is only for a few weeks…
• I need to allow that sometimes sandwiches are okay for dinner.  Whole grain tortillas, bagged spinach salad and slices of watermelon can be components of a “good enough” dinner.

I’m not writing this looking for validation.  I already know that this is okay.  This is life.  We all do the best we can, and the standards I pursue still inform my efforts when I feel especially burdened.  I’m a better teacher for having high standards even if I struggle to meet them this during these weeks.  I just want to go on record with this small complaint.  Many people chaw on about how much time off teachers get, but I’d like to point out that all that time off is determined by a district calendar.  I’m unable to get some time when I need it.

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